Tuesday, 05 March 2013 06:19

The Single Best Predictor of Divorce Is....

Written by  Tony McGinty
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Dr. John Gottman has been studying couples for over 20 years and has concluded that the biggest single predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship. There is absolutely no respect left at all -- only negative judgement, criticism, or sarcasm thrown at each other. 

Here are four ways you show contempt: 

"You" language. "you should...," "you need to...," "you have to...," "you'd better..." 

Universal statements. Using the words "always," "every time," "such a," and "everyone." "You always leave the toilet seat up," for example. "You're such a slob!" 

Tough on the person, soft on the issue. "You are so stupid" instead of "you're a smart person, and what you did this morning was not very smart." 

Invalidate feelings. You notice emotions, positive or negative, coming out of a person, and you either discount them, or ignore them completely. "Your concerns are meaningless to me!" "You're blowing things way out of proportion." 

... Is it too late to fix your problems? No, but both partners need to recognize what's really going on and be willing to fix it.

source: psychologytoday.com

Tony McGinty

Tony McGinty

Tony McGinty was born in the West Park area of Cleveland. A graduate from Olmsted Falls High School in 2001, he was on the bowling team for 2 years. Tony is married to his high school sweetheart, Angela. They currently live in Elyria with our two dogs, Sophie & Kali, and two cats, Peanut and Zeus but life with pets is about to change in a big way as Angela and Tony are expecting their first child November 2nd. It's a girl, no name yet. Tony's been in the business for ten years, notably as the morning show producer for the Mantel in the Morning show on WGAR (where he rose to the rank of "Captain Tony"), a year working in Portland, Maine as the morning show producer/co-host on WTHT and as the evening guy on WHXR. He's a self-confessed "geek, sports obsessed, TV watcher, mountain dew drinker, sarcastic and cynical" guy.
 

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Contact Tony at tmcginty@rcrg.net or through the newsroom 330-864-6397.

 

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