I’ve got a rack on me. I know this. I not only know this because I have a mirror, but because I haven’t been able to comfortably sleep on my stomach since 1989. I’ve been rocking these things for awhile now, and they’ve been a D cup for far too long.

As I’ve written before, I have a serious love/hate relationship with my boobs. Some days I think they’re so great! They look amazing in the right bra, I can properly fill out a dress, and they provide a pillow on which to rest my hand when I’m staring at the TV. I don’t know why, but my hand always falls there.

But then there are days, like today, where they piss me off. I shouldn’t have to wear a bra while I’m inside in my underwear working, but I know that if I don’t, my back will ache tomorrow. It’s not fun. Bad big boobs.

Huffington Post did a piece today on what not to say to small-busted women. As usual, I was annoyed that this article didn’t relate to me in someway. Did the world not get the memo that I need everything to relate to me, or I get confused? Or maybe I have yet to send that memo; I’ll double check with my imaginary assistant Rebecca to see.

However, what is most important is that we cover what not to say to the big-busted ladies in our life. Just because we have huge knockers doesn’t mean that we don’t require some level of sympathy. It’s hard having big boobs sometimes. It really is! I really don’t want to have to wear this fucking bra anymore today! Someone coddle us large-chested women of the world and hand over the painkillers and wine!

"You totally must have a bad back all the time."
Yeah, I do, and it matches my bad attitude.

"Where do you even find a bra big enough for those?"
Oh, you wanna know where? Your mom's house. How about that?

"Do you ever want to make them smaller?" 
Do you ever want to make your face -- Breathe.

"It must be easy to meet guys with those." 
So easy! Can't you see the trail of men right behind me?

"They're going to be SO saggy when you get older!"
I'm not even going there...

"How big are they?" 
And what's your weight exactly?

"Are they real?" 
Yes, they are... and they're spectacular.



http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/19/beauty/not-to-say-to-the-big-busted-ladies/#ixzz2LO71noCj 

http://www.thegloss.com/2013/02/19/beauty/not-to-say-to-the-big-busted-ladies/#ixzz2LO6LYvBc