I've tried to use this technique when mediating an argument in my personal life, in particular when dealing with fights between my kids. One would feel they are so completely right,  and after hearing the other side, the same applies.  I've learned, through parenthood and management (in fact, being a parent really helped me at work) that the very simplest technique in resolving conflict really and truly is the golden rule.

The toughest part in this philosophy is to live it myself. To practice what I preach. But the more I do it, the better it works, and it seems to help me release some anger and frustration when in a difficult situation.

When I find myself in a situation when I am upset with someone I try to pretend I am in their shoes. Sometimes, in my mind, I argue their point back to myself, taking their side. If someone is upset with something I said,  I try to  think about if someone said those words to me, how I might take it. I have found that maybe it's the context, or the history of  conflicts in the past. Maybe you or they are bringing up old feelings with a current statement and maybe, just maybe the frustration has nothing to do with you. So many times, we personalize things, and make it all about "us" that we lose perspective on the argument.  If, during a conflict, we were able to  think about the others'  life experience and what they might be feeling, it is amazing how you and they, can sometimes soften and the situation can be diffused.

I believe that people come into your life for a reason, and that even the worst circumstance can teach us something. I was reflecting on this recently after thinking about a person who came into my life a couple of years ago. Highly critical, defensive, and negative, this person found fault in almost every person and situation in his life. And because of his high IQ, he had an inability to see any view but his own because he thought he was always right.

Now that so much time has passed I can see the situation more clearly, and my experience with him while negative at the time, helped me grow and learn. It was dealing with him that taught me a lot about handling challenging and negative people. The ultimate lesson I learned from him was that sometimes, no strategies work, agreeing to disagree, while respecting another's view, and or even walking away for good is often  the best solution of all.

Two people looking at a similar set of circumstances can draw completely different conclusions based on their life experiences. It's like two people looking at a painting and seeing a completely different picture. The key to resolution might be to get each side to look at the situation from another's point of view. To literally step into someone another's shoes for a minute and try to feel what they feel, face their circumstance.

Imagine if we could practice this strategy not only in our home, but in our workplace, our country and our world. Imagine if the parent yielding the fist had the view of the child looking up. If the criminal with the gun were standing behind the counter. If the prison guard were looking from behind bars. Imagine if leaders of a country viewed the world from the perspective of the people living in the town.

My prayer is that even if just for today, we imagine we are in someone else's shoes so that we are able to treat another how we would want to be treated.